Five More Songs

5.

It seems now that
I want to feel it on my skin the way
I feel it in my mind,
A gentle breeze of light to caress
My disdainfully neglected skin
Just as the timeless waves of
The universe
Have endlessly caressed my mind.
I want to see it in front of me
Suspended in the air
That’s so cryptically and
Painfully full of
Raw existence, life,
Sensual and
All around.
And if seeing it kills it
For me
I simply do not care –
One momentary glimpse will sustain
Me for all of eternity
And beyond

4.

The goddess that lives inside my chest
My anima, perhaps,
Informs me that there’s a strand
Of meaning
That ties together the
Bewildering
Uncountable mass
Of the outside solid world.
A million strands of meaning,
Perhaps,
For every speck of dust and sand
For every flower and lion
Tied together
Inseparably
By a million strands of meaning,
Life,
Of wonder to exist,
A million strands of meaning,
Of knowing without seeing,
Of feeling how this world contains
Surely infinite strands of meaning
Flowing through
The all around perceptible
Entangled with my heart

3.

Feeling transmuted into sight
The things that inhabit my dreams
What mad mad magic process
What certainly fictional alchemy

Feeling turned to flesh, to touch
To sensing all around
But not my body, not yours, not together,
Not what exists, as it exists,
As though that’s all there is

Feeling rendered physical, made real
Let time be damned
And all that she holds behind her back,
Behind her where we cannot see
Whatever it is she hides,
Behind her where time is something
Entirely different
That we cannot understand

Feeling made solid
Feeling made real
Feeling that creates entire worlds
Out of worlds that already
Exist
Somewhere else
Invisible, as yet unseen

2.

I’m searching
In frustration
For a means of encoding worldly potential
Not of that which is real, exactly,
And neither of that which is abstract,
But of that which is on the edge of
Being tangible
What will be real one second from now,
One instant from now,
After the next infinitely small tick of the
Universal clock
But it’s vast, that information,
And the children of Aleph and Beth are
No longer able to serve us in this task,
Too mired are they in the detail before the subservient whole
Too mired in what might be, derived from what was,
Unsuited to what will be, born of what seemed.
Far too unwieldy
To catch even part of the swirling sensory
Just waiting there to be
Made visible and understood
And seen for what it truly is,
Which for now is but a feeling —
An achingly sensual feeling
Frustratingly out of reach

1.

Oh, hey, I know this feeling
This intensity
This energy
This excitement
It feels like I’m just at the edge
Almost up to the very edge
Of an insight, profound,
Of an alignment,
Of a realization of
Something I could never
Previously see.
I can feel it waiting for me
Beckoning me
From inside its cloudy amorphous form
But always before, in the past,
Every time
I have felt like this
It has never arrived like I expect it
In a dazzling flash of light,
Of clarity divine,
Instead
There has always been a crash in between
A bitter unmerciful crash in between
But
Whatever,
I’ll just ride it for a while
And see what comes my way